Tuesday, April 16, 2013


Memories can be beautiful, motivating, angering, and even haunting! Our memories can fill us with so many emotions and a lot times you are struck by many at the same time. Memories can be stemmed from wonderful events our weddings, child birth, a special date with your spouse. They can come from tragic events, the loss of a loved one, or things like yesterdays bombings. When the events happen good or bad they are always in the front of our thoughts. As time goes by life takes over and these events are not forgotten but no longer our focal point. A single event big or small can cause our memories to come flooding back.

I have had a few events like this in the last week. This last weekend I took my kids to a parade and festival with some friends. It was a wonderful time. But, at one point we were walking around the festival and we walked by a spot where I had my last date with my husband before he deployed. Suddenly memories of the night hit me. Our joking, our fun, our love, we had fondue for dinner that night for the first time. It was a romantic and hilarious experience. All those wonderful memories made me smile but made me ache all at the same time. My eyes suddenly filled with tears and it took everything in me to hide my sudden pain from my children. The memories in themselves were all positive but the longing and missing that went with them was stronger then I could explain and almost overwhelming.

I read a post by a Military Vet. Yesterday. The bombing had filled him with memories and flashbacks to 9/11. I don't believe he is alone in this. I know that as soon as I heard the news it was one of my first thoughts. I think a lot of us can relate to this event taking us back to 9/11 the heartache and anger that goes with it. This Vet had a sense of mourning the loss of his friends all over again.

So how do we deal when these events memories can cause such overwhelming emotions. I am not a counselor so I don’t have professional advice for you. But, I can tell you what I do.

I try to take a breath, reach out to friends for support and try to find a use for these emotions. I can use my memories to remind myself how lucky I am. Maybe I’ll let them motivate me to send him a special I miss/love you package or letter. I can volunteer to help other spouses that might be feeling the same way. We can have a pity party and uplift each other. Maybe I’ll write a “blog” so others know they are not alone!

Maybe the Vet that felt the losses and pain so deeply will volunteer in some way. Maybe he will be the one that offers a true understanding and support to someone else or start a fund for the families that suffered losses. Big or small I really think sometimes finding something productive to do. Can help us cope and maybe someone else can be helped or uplifted along the way.

Regardless of what you do with the emotions that can coming flooding back in life. Please remember you are not alone and its never a bad thing to seek help if you need it. Friendship or counseling, you can’t help others if you are not helping yourself and we all need to lean on each other from time to time.

Thinking of those injured and whom suffered such great losses yesterday and remembering those lost on 9/11.

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