Saturday, May 4, 2013

This letter is to inform you: It's over! I want to break up!

In the last 5 months our relationship has become increasingly unhealthy. If I told you I felt smothered by the attention you are sending my way it would be an understatement. You have become obsessed with being a part of my life, you show up at odd and inconvenient times and create nothing but drama, chaos, and frustration.  I have tried to tell you before that we should spend a little less time together but you chose not to listen to me.

We have made some good memories together. Moments I will treasure for the rest of my life. I mean honestly it is not often you get to play in a kitchen filled with bubbles. I found that to be a novel idea and quite humors. You helped me to become a master at jump starting vehicles. This is a lesson that I am sure I will find useful for the rest of my life. Our relationship has made me grow. So that can’t be all bad, right? But, I digress!

Today you arrived so many times to show your affections. This amount of attention was just to much for me. You had me almost in tears as I drove to the auto parts store to buy a new set of jumper cables, stood there looking at 10 different options thinking: What the heck does gauge mean? I did eventually figure it out but, as I drove home today, I became increasingly determined to write you this letter.

Mr. Murphy, we really need to break up. I could give you all the standard "Its not you its me" lines, or "I just need some space" and perhaps "our lives are just going in different directions," or lastly an all time favorite, "we can still be friends." But, those would all just be a lie. It really is you! You really do suck and I don't want to be your friend! That would give you the impression you were welcome and that is so not the case.


If it will make you feel better I will shed a tear as you are leaving and wish you well. Just don’t look too closely, for if you do, you will see my tears are out of joy for your departure. The wishing you well will just be a snippet of sentence to wishing you stay well away from me.

 If you are looking for a partner in this world Mr. Murphy, I have heard that “Karma” is available. I believe you two would make the perfect couple!

So without further ado Mr. Murphy I have a cup of tea or maybe a Vodka drink calling my name. Then a hot bubble bath and cozy pajamas. Please don't let the door hit you on the way out; or do, your choice!  

Mr. Murphy =
Murphy's law is an adage or epigram that is typically stated as: "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong".

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