Thursday, May 2, 2013

"Stay busy!" Ha Ha! Did my juggling give you the impression I was bored!

Worst generic deployment advice ever! "Stay Busy!"

At the beginning of this deployment I had a lot of well meaning people tell me to stay busy. So I did just that, I scheduled all kinds of things and was being "busy." Go me, lets do Dance, Girl Scouts and trips to the mall, the circus and oh the unit has a function this week... Before long my calendar was running out of room and I began to resemble one of the undead you would see in the movies. Don't get to close she is libel to eat you alive. Ahha!

Thankfully it did not take long for me to realize the error in my ways, and come to a conclusion about that advice. Those that give you the generic advice to "stay busy" fit into a few categories: Those that do not have children; those that have never actually been through a deployment; and the masochistic. You see, no matter how little I actually plan for myself there is never a "I have nothing to do today" day! Ok, so there are days I decide not to do anything but that is a different story. I have gotten a much better rhythm now. But I have decided I will never give the generic advice "stay busy." My advice will be schedule time for yourself. Mr. Murphy will visit, there is always a large to-do list and the kids are mini black holes for time and energy. Very cute and lovable little black holes but they will keep you busy, life will keep you busy!

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying skip the circus or dance classes. Your children need these activities and they do bring a smile to my face. Watching them have fun and enjoy life is uplifting but it is also work. You have to get the kids and yourself ready, make sure you pack all necessary supplies, monitor behavior and keep the baby from hugging elephants and eating rocks. :) By the time I put the kids to bed after one of these "keep me busy fun days," I am normally happy but exhausted! To many days of this and the happy part disappears and all that is left is exhausted.

Find a balance, life's to do list never stops. So don't go crazy adding things to "stay busy." Do positive things for you and your children but don't try to be superwoman and don't forget the YOU in this statement. You need down time and rest, you can not properly take care of anyone else if your metaphorical cup is empty. Maybe you need a day at the spa, maybe it's a beer with a friend, maybe it's just a bubble bath once the kids are in bed.

Staying busy for the sake of staying busy can and probably lead you to another episode of the "walking dead." Slow down, make time to refill your cup and remember to enjoy life's little moments!

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