Monday, June 3, 2013

What about Me?

I have learned and been reminded of so much in the last few weeks. I'll start by saying I hit a brick wall. My little funk was not going away, it was getting worse. I looked at myself and I could see my own fatigue, I could see that my hands were literately shaking, I was sad and brought to tears easily. I could not help but think this is not me. my motivation had gone out the window. I was literally a mess. Sure, I was still taking care of the kids pasting a smile on my face for family and friends but I was a mess!

It all started with a I am too busy to eat a real breakfast. I'll just grab some coffee and a snack and then mow the lawn or do the dishes or..... Then it was, no time for lunch, grab part of a bagel you can eat that on the run add in another cup of coffee. Then I stay up late to talk to my husband so I would drink some more coffee to keep myself going. Then I would get myself ready for bed but I would not be able to sleep because of the coffee and....

It was all little stuff, skipping a meal would not kill me. Skipping that walk to take care of that chore not a big deal. Skipping that nap, Staying up late is no big deal. Skip writing that blog because you are to tired. Its easier to turn on the TV then to blog. Besides no one will want to hear about how I am having a bad day, week...

 I would push myself so hard to get everything done, then I would collapse from fatigue. Spend a day watching TV and do it all over again.

What is it they say about insanity, something about doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. I was living an insane lifestyle. Pushing myself but not taking care of myself but expecting to be able to just keep going.

This last week as I sat down one morning devastated about something totally silly and I was so tired I could barely take care of the kids breakfast. I took a good look at myself and shook my head. What had I been thinking. Sure skipping one meal will not hurt me but doing it over and over again. Not eating well or Eating unhealthy takes its toll. Losing sleep here and there is no big deal but weeks and months of putting real rest behind everything else also takes a toll. My hands shaking and my frequent headaches were signs my body trying to tell me it had enough of being put at the bottom of my To Do List! It was in all ways screaming What about me?

I talked to my husband and rearranged our calls. It probably meant a little less time with him but I had to get myself back together. Then I made myself sit down and eat at meals. I was determined to start treating myself better. I don't like the feeling of being a mess! I have to admit after only a couple days of getting extra rest and real food, I am already doing much better.

I am writing this blog and sharing this major failure on my part for a few reasons. First off blogging is my healthy outlet and I am coming back! :) Secondly, I am hoping at least a few people will read this and maybe take heed to my warning. Its easy to put yourself last on the To Do list. Its easy to put the kids the husband the chores the.... All of Life and our Responsibilities before ourselves but it does have consequences. Eventually putting yourself last makes it hard if not imposable to take care of all of the things you need to.

I have been doing better the last few days but this weeks goals!

Cut back on coffee
Be in bed by 11pm everynight
Not skip any meals
Try to eat more heathy meals
exercise 5 days this week. (weather it is a walk or an x-box workout) something active!

 Simple steps towards a more healthy me! Simple steps towards being the best me I can be. Simple steps towards feeling good again!

There are some other simple steps I plan to take in coming months. The following link has many ideas feel free to check them out.



  1. Replies
    1. Thank you, each day that I take care of myself (get rest and real food) I do a little bit better. I almost feel energized today. :) Looking forward to summer! :)

  2. Hey Crystal! Long time!!! Hoping you are feeling better! I have adjusted to being stay at home mom now with just one kid, and I can only imagine 2 and husband out of town! Hugs and big props to you. If you ever want to chat, would laove to hear from you. I am no longer on facebook.

    Take care of yourself, and we can't wait to see you and Peter when he returns (and the kids of course)! Yah Taylor on graduating 1st grade!

    1. I am not sure if I still have your number but I will have to double check. The kids and I fly in on Sunday morning and will be around that area for about a mo. We should try to get together. :)