Monday, October 21, 2013
Its ok to say! I HATE MILITARY LIFE "TODAY!"
If you happen to make a negative comment, people automatically start saying things like;
You are not cut out for this, with a negative connotation like you are a failure in some way.
Or in no so subtle ways they will tell you; suck it up cupcake.
My truth may not be your truth but I think this way of thinking is outdated and lacks empathy.
When I was in the hospital having a miscarriage and my husband was not allowed to join me because the unit needed xyz. But wait they did not even do xyz that day it was put off for another day because it was not really that important.
When I was holding down my crying son, with his little arms wrapped around my neck begging me to make it better, make it stop hurting. But instead I am holding him down so the doctor could take a scalpel to his leg and squeeze out the infection. The stuff that should have numbed it not working. My husband being a million miles away unable to help or even talk to me. Driving home later fighting off vomiting from fear for my baby, sadness for what he just went through, for what I just had to do. That night I not only longed for my husband, I hated being a Military Wife.
When my seven year old gets sad, stares out the window cry's and sings her own made up version of a Deployment Sucks song because she misses her daddy.
When I look at my son and remember that when my husband left he was not walking, talking or really doing much of anything. Now he is my little tornado, making messes and finding trouble wherever he can.
In my opinion for whats its worth. Hating the Military life in moments like these is not wrong its human.
I am proud of all my husband has accomplished in his 10+ years as a Marine. I am proud of what I have accomplished on my own. I can look back at pinning ceremonies and remember the pride, honor and joy that I feel in those moments. I can remember how much in those moments I do love this life.
Having days I hate this life does not make me less of a person or not cut out for this life. When I have days where I hate this life I don't need to be told to suck it up. I need someone to say, hey I get it. This is a hard life sometimes and today is a hard day.
So the next time you think, GRRRR I hate this life. I say, I'm glad I'm not the only human in our "family." I sure hope things are better tomorrow!